Have you ever thought about how many relationships you have been in during your lifetime?
No, I don’t mean just boyfriends, girlfriends, fiancés, ex-husbands, etc. I had a few of those, don’t get me wrong, but I mean relationships with people that haven’t worked out the way you’d wished when they started. Even family members! These severed relationships, hurt feelings, unmet expectations and desires, all of these things cause us to be broken. Point being: WE ARE ALL BROKEN.
This was, as you can guess, the theme of the 2nd session of our Re-engage class. How life in general has left us all broken. Therefore, we are all (in some part) the cause of failures in our marriages. The hardest thing that I had to do in this lesson was to look at my past. And I sort of hate things in my past. I hate things that I did, things that happened that I can’t change, the way I treated people, or the way I was treated by others. What about you? I have realized the greatest thing about the past is that you can use it for GOOD!
Let’s play a game!
Oh I love games… ok but not the ones that make me look bad. Just hear me out though – Take a second to draw a figurative circle around yourself and do some digging. Not into the wrongs that your spouse has committed against you, but maybe how YOU responded to those wrongs. That time that you didn’t encourage your husband when he was having a really hard week. Or maybe when your wife wasn’t at her best, nagging you about something ridiculous (I’ve never done this for the record), and instead of giving her the benefit of the doubt, you pointed out her flaws. Point being, no matter how hard you try, there is absolutely nothing that you can do to ‘fix’ your spouse. Not nagging, not pointing out their flaws, having distain for them, list goes on..
This verse was just a good slap in the face for me:
“Therefore you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things.” Romans 2:1
Just remember when you start to point a finger at your spouse, pray about how you could approach a conflict or situation differently than you normally might. I do this all the time now, I don’t always get it right but that’s ok! Think about it this way, if your spouse ALSO draws a circle around themselves, that’s when the change will start to come. You have to both be willing to reflect on your brokenness and use it for good.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those who are crushed in spirit” Psalm 34:18
Until next time –
~Amy @Marilyn Sue